Vasku:

Sorry again for no updates. Me and emilia are both lazy with these type of thing and others aren't out enough I think.

Okay first!
New headmate!
My friend Ele (Yes I know you're reading this...) named him Will it seems. He seems cool enough. An adult male. Can't really say anything about him. :')

So...
I've been thinking of writing about a bit more serious stuff. You see my sister started to write about her eating disorder and somehow her honesty about all the things that have happened to her was very touching and well... I'll try to be honest and write about stuff.

I have to warn that I ramble and get off point a lot :')

Lately we've been taking steps back with pretty much everything. We've been having trouble to get to our therapy sessions, keeping our home clean and all that stuff. We don't eat enough or sleep enough (well at least not me)
And I've just been very annoyed and depressed for no reason. And I've been drying a lot which is annoying.

A few days ago I was at this place where everyone in the room went around and said what they were the most grateful about. And there was a few people before me so I had some time to think. And all I could think about was the two friends sitting next to me. They had stick with us through the diagnose and everything, so I said I was grateful for my friends no abandoning me. And I don't think I can ever press how much it means to me. We lost a few people, but I don't think they ever were our friends if they would abandon us at one of the hardest times in our lives. Because it was hard. Telling people that you're mentally ill is never easy. It was hard for Emilia the most, cause she was the one who everyone knew, since I always pretended to be her. At first it was weird to be myself and I was afraid no-one would ever want to be with me, that they'd always ask for Emilia. And of course everyone in our family would rather be with her than me, that's something I have to live with even though it hurts. But now I have friends of my own. The closest of my friends being Whireds, Ele and Duke. They're actually my friends, not Emilia's friends who have to deal with me because I happen to be out.
And I love them and I'm so happy to have them. And I feel like I don't deserve them and I'm very afraid they'll some day realize I'm not worth it. I'm stupid that way.
And Now I'm gonna stop pouring my heart here.
See you guys again some other day.