Vasku:

One of my new years resolutions was to write more. Ooops...

Okay so...
In a new apartment now and I love it. It's bigger and cheaper and right next to our sisters' house.
We actually have a bedroom now :D

And better neighbors :3

And I have a boyfriend now so everything is going well ^^
Probably wont be talking about him that much though.
Just have to mention that he's amazing and perfect and stuff <3
And bothering me at the moment.. Hrr...
Only thing is that he lives VERY far away... But he is worth it.
I remember that I used to think no-one would ever want to date me because of the whole DID thing and now that I have him... It feels like a dream. And I'm afraid of it ending...

I'll write about dating with DID later when there isn't someone breaking my concentration all the time.

Well... Not everything is going well... Our sister isn't doing so well and she's in the hospital : /
We are all very worried about her, but I'm sure she'll make it. She's strong.

That's it for now.
Got to go play with that annoying pig.

Emilia:

Warning! I am annoyed and will probably cuss and talk very... Rudely.

I hate my neighbors.
I fucking hate them.
They lied!
They lied that our dog has been barking during the night. They gave me dates and times when she has been barking, but I WAS HOME! And awake. And I think I would fucking hear if my dog barks.

So now I have to move. My mom promised to take care of our dog so I can have a little more time to look for a new apartment. But still...
It's so nice to get evicted right before christmas. Our town is so small that there really isn't many places to move to. All the new apartment houses have rules against pets.

I'm so pissed off I don't even know what to write.
Okay I'll continue some other time. Mom will be here soon.
Bye bye and stuff.

Vasku:

Okay now I need to come up with something to write.

Hmm, well. Our cousin got angry with me. Said I'm an asshole and I don't care (About her or Emilia). Which is kind of true. I don't care about her that much. I hate being ordered around and she thinks she think she has that power over me. She said I'm playing all the time (Kind of true, yeah) though she had played the whole night the day before that. And I was only playing while I was waiting for her to write. So she had to go all drama queen. That's why almost all of my friends are male. I can't stand drama at all.

Aanyway...
Hard to focus with Duke talking random shit in to my ears (I have a skype call open with him).

Uhh...
HOBBIT TOMORROW!!

We're leaving before 7 in the morning to get to the BIG CITY to watch it. Can't wait ;___;
And I asked Whireds to come cook with me but he hasn't answered yet. Dat bastard.

Hmm..
I really don't have anything intellectual to say.
So I'll just shut up.
I think I'm freaking out Duke, talking veeery random shit.

Vasku out!

Emilia:

Okay I'm a bit annoyed.
One thing I keep running into, is people telling me I'm lying.
Like... What the hell? Why would I lie that I'm crazy, complicate my own life and the lives of people I care about? It just doesn't make any sense to me. Do you people lie about something similar so you think everyone around you is lying? Paranoid much?

People use as 'proof' the fact that I can talk with the other headmates. Like I'm not supposed to be able to do that.
So... You are a professional at this? Do you have DID?
Sorry I truly am annoyed... In Finnish: Vituttaa.

I haven't found any scientific text that says person with DID can't talk to the other personalities. And if that's the fact, maybe I have something else than DID?
The human brain is so complex and actually able to do anything. Maybe when I was a child, I was alone and I needed someone to talk to, in addition to someone to protect me. So maybe my brain created someone I can talk to when I'm not 'out'. I've accepted long ago that human brain can never be fully understood. At least not during our lives. Maybe in a thousand years if humans are still alive.

In a more positive news:
WE HAVE A DOG!
It's name is Natasha and it's a mix of many different breeds. She's one year old and very kind, doesn't bark and walks well on a leash. Still needs some house training (it pees inside during nights) and she's perfect.
Also. I've been out a lot because I'm dating now :3
And I am very very happy about it and aldkjalfjga
She brings me so much joy and now that I'm talking about her, I miss her. (I'm visiting my cousin)
Well, I'll see her tomorrow<3
Bye bye people!
I'll go write to the Finnish blog now:
www.notaloneinsidefin.blogspot.com

Vasku:

Sorry again for no updates. Me and emilia are both lazy with these type of thing and others aren't out enough I think.

Okay first!
New headmate!
My friend Ele (Yes I know you're reading this...) named him Will it seems. He seems cool enough. An adult male. Can't really say anything about him. :')

So...
I've been thinking of writing about a bit more serious stuff. You see my sister started to write about her eating disorder and somehow her honesty about all the things that have happened to her was very touching and well... I'll try to be honest and write about stuff.

I have to warn that I ramble and get off point a lot :')

Lately we've been taking steps back with pretty much everything. We've been having trouble to get to our therapy sessions, keeping our home clean and all that stuff. We don't eat enough or sleep enough (well at least not me)
And I've just been very annoyed and depressed for no reason. And I've been drying a lot which is annoying.

A few days ago I was at this place where everyone in the room went around and said what they were the most grateful about. And there was a few people before me so I had some time to think. And all I could think about was the two friends sitting next to me. They had stick with us through the diagnose and everything, so I said I was grateful for my friends no abandoning me. And I don't think I can ever press how much it means to me. We lost a few people, but I don't think they ever were our friends if they would abandon us at one of the hardest times in our lives. Because it was hard. Telling people that you're mentally ill is never easy. It was hard for Emilia the most, cause she was the one who everyone knew, since I always pretended to be her. At first it was weird to be myself and I was afraid no-one would ever want to be with me, that they'd always ask for Emilia. And of course everyone in our family would rather be with her than me, that's something I have to live with even though it hurts. But now I have friends of my own. The closest of my friends being Whireds, Ele and Duke. They're actually my friends, not Emilia's friends who have to deal with me because I happen to be out.
And I love them and I'm so happy to have them. And I feel like I don't deserve them and I'm very afraid they'll some day realize I'm not worth it. I'm stupid that way.
And Now I'm gonna stop pouring my heart here.
See you guys again some other day.

Vasku:
 Someone was sleeping (Emilia I think) and I woke up.
I took a sociopath test. Because of reasons.
The result:
__
You are totally scary! I would feel so bad for anyone who lives with you or hangs around you on a daily basis. Stay away from us!

You have 20 points for 24 Questions.You are for 17 % pure!
__

Also, something Emilia wrote:

Finns on the internet.

This is going to be quite a long post, but thank you if you read this.

Okay, I’m really starting to worry about Finns using internet and all social medias. And I’m not saying what I’m about to say is true for every Finn, but for too many. And surely this is true for people from other nations, but I’ve mainly experienced it on Finnish sites.

The hate.

The insane anonymous hate.

That’s why I hate Finnish sites where you can comment anonymously.

For instance:

Feissarimokat is a site where they collect funny posts from Facebook.

Pretty much EVERY post has hate in the comments. And it’s not only towards the post, but other commenters too.

I have an example:

The post had a status from a 45+ woman who wanted facebook likes, so she divided her post in to many pieces.

Someone commented that she was trolling.

After that a girl with nickname Sofi commented:” I don’t think many 45+ people know what trolling is, or know how to do it.” (Which to me is a valid point)

Well, then comes some everyday hero who thinks only he’s point an be the right one:

Maverick: “And Sofi is obviously a (a Finnish word that I know no translation for, pissis. It’s derogative, used for teenage girls who are stupid and only care for their image etc.) and has a lot to learn from the world.”

He could have said it more nicely! Like “I think they do”

Why do Finns have to be so negative?

For another example:

I was playing Transformice, an online platforming game where you play with little mice and you have to collect the cheese. There are dirrefent rooms and I was in the Finnish one.

I had been playing for quite a long time and chatting with the other players at the same time and I had fun. But then I said I have to go cause my girlfriend was coming.

Dear lord what shit storm followed.

There was two or thee guys who just wouldn’t believe that I could have a girlfriend (And they had decided that I was a guy)

They were saying stuff like “What kind of loser lies he has a girlfriend in a mouse game?” And stuff like that. And it really was quite mean.

I was stunned. Do they really have so low self-esteem they have to insult others to feel good about themselves? What the hell is wrong with Finns? Or with all those pathetic internet users who think it’s nice to cause trauma for others.

And no I haven’t gotten any trauma, but some have. Some people take it very seriously when someone bad-mouths them on the internet.

I mean. Imagine you had painted something. You used time and effort in to it and you are happy with what you had done. Then you post a picture of it online for your friends to see. And then comes along some shit-head and becomes poor-mouthing your masterpiece. That’s got to hurt right?

And now one could argue that it’s your own fault for posting it online, but you didn’t post it for that guy right? Maybe you posted just so that one friend who lives in California would see it.

Feel free to comment or send me asks if you have experience from internet hate.

-Emilia Of The WolfPack

Oh and:

Mari, Peetu and Whireds saw Sipi for the first time.

Sipi heard they were coming over so she went outside and took our cat with her. There she waited until she got bored and decided to collect flowers (There's not many since we life in the center of our little town. Frankly, I'm just glad she didn't try to take the flowers from the flowers shop next to us.)
She was on the other side of the road from our house when our friends came. Mari yelled "Hi" or something (Most of our friends are kinda loud) Sipi got scared (Since she'd not really allowed to go outside and thought Mari was angry at her)
So she started crying.
Nice little girl.

- Vasku and Emilia

Oh and btw!

Started a minecraft server. The IP changes every now and then, so I won't write it here.

facebook.com/TheWolvesDenMinecraftServer

There you can find the IP, reguest we open the server, find clues for hidden chests etc.

It's survival and griefing allowed. PVP is not on usually. Everyone is on gamemode 0 (No ops) And no, you can't be an exception.

-The Pack

Vasku:
Should write more often, eh?

So.
Stuff has happened don't remember even half of it.
Anyway in more recent news:

A friend of ours, Teri turned 18 today! (In Finland 18 is the 'big girl age' here. You can drink alcohol, vote, drive a car etc. Basically, you're an adult.)

So, we ate good stuff, watched Sherlock and then went to eat out. I ate some delicious cheese things. And now Sherlock is trying to prevent me from writing. Blew in his ear to get rid off him.

Hmm... Nothing to say really. Right now I'm squeezed between Mari and Peetu, writing this. We are watching Game Of Thrones and Whireds is playing Mass Effect 3. He's almost at the end so I can't watch him playing. Spoilers : D (Cue DW reference)

And I'm teasing Russian for having weird braces that bind his teeth together :'D

...And Peetu is dancing balet.. (He climbed out of the sofa-land)

Russian's message for what to write:

[23:01:18] RUSSIAN: "Fatass American eats grilled cheese and then starts to make 4 waffles"
[23:01:50] RUSSIAN: also, brb making waffles d:

Yeah, Russian is American.

Nothing more for today. Can't post picftures right now, 'cause I don't know where my phone is right now...
And I don't really have pictures of today.

Vasku:

First order of business: IT'S JIM!

About today:

This day started of awful. We didn't eat meds yesterday so the night was horrible. Without our meds we don't sleep well and we see nightmares. Luckily, sometime around 5 a.m Moona came to front. She's the best sleeper of us all.

When I woke up, it was already day and our dad was yelling me to get up. So, I got up, don't really remember what I did until dinner. For dinner, we had chicken which still had it's bones in. (The leg thingeys) And I really don't like bones. I almost threw up, but Jim saved me. He came to the front and ate the horrible chicken. After that I came back to the front and started packing our stuff.

When our grandmother came, she had our grandfather with her... I fear him a lot because he's a drunk and stuff, but I sucked it up and told Jim I could take care of it. Right when we left I saw someone. Someone I fear most in the world and who caused the first trauma in our life. After seeing him I was in panic. Sipi came to front for a sec and I had to rip her back in. (Our grandparents have no idea of our DID) Jimi came out for a sec too but when we drove away I got the situation under control.

After that someone in the mind place went to sleep and saw more nightmares about him. I felt really sick. It didn't help that I needed to change the bus two times and I was worried I'd get lost.

Luckily, I got a knight in shining armor (Unfortunately, no armor in real life). Whire was in the last bus home. I had earlier texted him that someone was seeing nightmares but I didn't explain more than that. I know I can talk to him, but I don't like suffocating people with my problems.
Anyway, Whire got me in better mood (Like he always does.. But I'm going to stop praising him, he's probably going to read this.)

When I came home, the cats had made a mess of this place BI (<- That's a smiley)
There were two different places where someone had thrown up. The whole apartment smelled and there was shit everywhere...

But the rest of the day has been nice. After so much panicking, I've been laughing the rest of the day. Managed to connect my xbox to internet, so I can play Mass effect 3 multiplayer, jeij!
If anyone wants to play with me, my ID is TheMultiGirl. I play Mass effect (a lot), portal 2 and assassin's creeds online.

Anyway, that's it for today, dear diary.
Good night.

Jimi:

Fist of all, my name is Jimi, not Jim. Vasku grr.
Um... I'm an age slider, around 18-24.
I'm a boy (obviously) and I have had some... Awkward moments with this female body.

Right now we are at Emilia's dad house. He just left to work. I didn't say who I was, because I'm not sure how much he knows. Vasku didn't know either.

We're leaving back home today, really soon. After I've written this, Vasku or Emilia will come and go pack, cause I have no idea what stuff belongs to us.

Hmm... I like emilia's and Vasku's friends a lot. Mind you though, I haven't met many of them. I texted Emilia's little sister today and she... Well, it's not surprise she prefers Emilia over us all and wishes she'd 'be herself' as she said. I try not be offended, I have to understand that Emilia is her sister and she loves her sister. Still, it's not fun to hear 'Go away, you are fake' (She didn't actually say that)

Anyway, have to let the girls pack.
Bye!

Vasku:

Hullo all! I like putting pictures but that would mean changing computers so nah, too lazy.

So, we have a new headmate! His name is Jim! Mari named him.
Oh and I found out, Taku is in fact a guy. I've always thought he's more like a woman with no boobs. Yeh... But he's very girly and loves dresses, so...

We don't know much about Jim yet. Hopefully he'll write here too.

Okay what then...

Oh! Almost bought a 100 yo piano for only 20€, but the guy who was selling it wants more money for it... Why put the option of selling it with only 20€ if you're not going to sell it with that price?

It's only 12:30 and I'm already bored. I'll have to wait for everyone to get home from school and then go somewhere... Maybe I'll use this time to train our pokemon and then challenge Whire to a battle?
Or something.
Anyway, must put on some clothes->

Emilia:

This has been a semi-good week so far.
Good things:
Been playing with my friends a lot. Me and Whire just completed Portal 2 co-op story. He's been playing a lot with me. I like him a lot. He's seems to be always positive. And loves pretty much all the same things as I do.
He's going to teach me how to play with Poke-cards. I've been collecting them a bit again. When I was younger I used to have like 2000+ cards cause when my brothers and cousins stopped collecting them, they gave them all to me.
Sherlock and John (Sayo) might get little kitties! If we are lucky. I'll do an introduction of my cats when I have more time.
Been watching Fairy Tail a lot. And Greek.
Monni has been out more and more lately. Which is kind of good, because she sleeps a lot. And it's nice that the body gets some rest. I'm not a good sleeper...
I was going to go to see my cousin, but I don't have money to travel :(

Not so good things:
Been sick a lot. And there might be a new headmate. That might not be a bad thing though. It's just a bit alarming when there's a new person who we know nothing about living in the same body.

People (Read mom) still have trouble getting that we are different people. Vasku is not me. Neither is Monni or Taku or anyone. And our therapist is always saying how we're only one person. We don't want to be treated as only one person.

Oh, and we have a group name now. We are The Pack! (Or the Wolf Pack as Vasku says.)

Emilia:

Sorry for no posts. Had a bit of a hard time.

One of us (We don't really know who, it's a new one probably) tried to kill us last Saturday. We have strong medication for sleeping and someone took way too much of them. I woke up with empty medicine thingeys in my hand. At first I though t´someone must have been cleaning them away, but then the meds kicked in.

I was very tired and the whole body felt really heavy. At that point we all started bouncing randomly to surface and I was sure we were dying. I called my mom and she and her husband came over. At some point they called 911 (Well, technically it's 112 here in Finland) and two men with ambulance came.

I couldn't breath well anymore. It was too hard and took too much energy. I tried to say it, but I couldn't talk. I was just so afraid what would happen to my cats after I died. I tried to tell my mom that she had to take care of them. The ambulance men made me drink medicine charcoal (activated charcoal). It was horrible and I was too weak to drink so I was covered in the black liquid. I was only half conscious and all the headmates were jumping all over so I'm not sure what happened, but I once woke up at the ambulance and later at the hospital. They made me drink more carchoal and did all sorts of tests. Everytime I woke up, there was a nurse sitting next to me. I think she sat there whole night making sure I didn't die in my sleep. I'm very thankful to her.

I was able to lie my way out of the hospital the next day. I told the doctors it was an accident and they let me go home. I have severe fear of hospitals and I just can't stand them.

My friends Teri and Mari called 911 too when I sent them a text. I'm very sorry to have had to worry everyone, but I was 100% sure I was dying and I wanted to tell people I loved them.

Now my mom has my medicine and she gives them to me for few days at a times, so we can't overdose anymore.

Well, that's my weekend.
I'm very happy to be alive.

Vasku:

Oh and Emilia is out because she saw nightmares the whole night.
Something about her mom dying and stuff. She's not talking much... She's locked away in her room.

Vasku:

Sorry for not posting for a while. Had lots to do.

The trauma cat came here a few days ago. We renamed him Moriarty. (Because me and Emilia love Sherlock)
He hasn't been eating and was puking this morning, so I'm a bit worried about him : /

Emilia might be going to bowling with her friends tomorrow. Not sure.
Teri and Mari came over yesterday. Emilia made us all swear not to come out and let her front the whole day. She doesn't want to loose her friends and I understand that of course. But the thing is... Before we "came out of the closet" with DID, I used to do a lot stuff with them, so I've kind of thought that they are my friends too. I hope they'll all accept me, all of them...

ALSO! Thanks for Emilia riding, our body hurts! A lot. And I'm hungry and there is no food.
No pictures because I'm using the wrong computer. Emilia connected our PC to our big tv so I have fallen in love.

Vasku:

So!
Cleaned the house with Emilia's mom. It looks a lot better now.
It's too bad that even thou we have quite many headmates, no-one likes to clean. I mean... Come on! Someone has to love cleaning. Please?

I've talked a lot of deep shit today. With Emilia's cousin and another multiple Min (She's a witch and that's just so cool!)
We've talked about what if one of us starts to date? How would our bf/gf take this? And would they understand that they are dating only one of us?

Anyway, Emilia said she's going to list all the shows she's watched when she has time... That's going to be a long list.
And Emilia is going to go riding tomorrow!
I like horses, but ever since Emilia fell quite badly from one, I've been deadly afraid of them.

And I'm too lazy to get up, so no pictures this time.
Bye!

Emilia:

Okay, it was weird waking up at my mom's. Luckily, Taku had left me a note:

"Good morning Emilia.
Sipi was scared being home alone so she called your mom. I took over and was really surprised to find myself here.
I talked to your mom (Well, she talked and I wrote) and explained that I'm not you. She didn't seem to like me. And why should she? I'm a parasite invading her daughter's brain. Also, your stepdad was angry at me for not talking. He thought I was you and only playing some game. I was really scared and asked your mom to take me home, but she told me to sleep in your room. I would have walked home, but I didn't want to anger your mom and your stepdad.

-Taku"

I don't think she's a parasite. She's something I have created (involuntarily) to protect myself. I like her a lot. And I feel sorry for her.

I think my mom must have explained stuff to my stepdad, because he was more normal this morning.

And now, I'll go eat the stuff I had bought for yesterday. Omnom.

Taku:

So, Emilia was a bit sad that her friends couldn't come over after all. So Sipi took over and she was scared and called Emilia's mom. So now that I took over I'm at her mom's place. I'm getting to know her.

No pictures now.
I'm trying to get in contact with Emilia. I don't know where she is.

Bye and goodnightie.

Emilia:
Was myself for the whole day yesterday :) I'm happy.

And I'm happy, because my friends are coming over today! At least Teri is. Not sure about Mari, but I think she's coming too. I don't know when they are coming thou... I should go and buy something good to eat...
And I'm happy about my tv! I love it!

I dunno, I'm just happy right now.
Oh!
And I got these rings to help people identify us.

I wear the the black one, Vasku wears the green one and Taku wears the pink one. Others are easier to recognize, I think.